The Striving | Day 8: Tired, Tired, Tired

I wish I could sleep forever. I wish I could lay down, and never arise from my slumber. What can I say? I'm tired today. I read a little. I worked mostly. And my goals?
What goals?

--Reeths

The Striving | Day 7: Quite a Busy Day

Church was... I don't really know. I was dosing throughout most of the thing. We went to Pizza Ranch for my youngest brother's birthday. Yesterday he turned four years old. Hah. He's been harping on it for the last few weeks—since at least December, as I recall. That's where he wanted to go. Pizza Ranch.

A few of my siblings and I had to leave early for our CyberPatriot round. It took six hours, but WHOO! We got a better score than I expected! It was pretty challenging, and I didn't think we had a chance of moving on. We'll see, though. Maybe we'll be able to continue.

I finally talked with my brother about taking the position. He seemed to understand. Gave a bunch of advice about what I should do. I'm still doubtful about taking the position. But hey—I don't think I'm going to college this fall. So at least there's that.

For some reason, I feel better about the future. I think it's because of the way he talks. It's this calm, you-don't-have-to-but-it'd-be-helpful thing. I don't know, maybe I'm just a bleeding heart.

--Reeths

The Striving | Day 6: A Day of Peace

Today was the Wreaths Across America ceremony. It was freezing cold, and the ceremonial gloves were so thin my hands became chapped. But I enjoyed it. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and everyone was in good spirits. We took a few pictures to commemorate the ceremony, and then some left, while the rest of us stayed to lay wreaths upon the graves.

The snow was the almost cake-y kind, where you could pack it into a snowball. Stepping in a foot deep of it, with dress shoes was not a fun experience. Having chunks of snow fall into your shoes and melt was not, by far, the best time you have ever had, either.

When we had finished laying wreaths upon the graves, we returned to our cars and drove our separate ways. My sister and I went to visit our grandpa. Our aunt and one of our cousins were there, cleaning. They finished, and after talking a little, left.

If you've ever had a conversation with me, you know what the atmosphere was like. Awkward. But on the whole, I appreciated it. He seemed to as well. We spent about half an hour or so more, and then we left for home.

What it was about today that felt peaceful is well beyond me. Maybe I never heard anyone shouting angry words. Maybe it was because I was content with how the morning went. Maybe the sun was sunny enough.

Something about today was peaceful. Maybe it was me.

--Reeths

The Striving | Day 5: It Continues to Drag

The alarm rings. Once. Twice. Maybe three times. Possibly four. But all of that, I ignore. It's warm beneath the covers, there is comfort in the pitch darkness of the room. And so I sleep.
And I wake—with a start. It is time to get up. To do something. Breakfast—or lunch is dull and tasteless. I turn to study Management. But wait—there is something more interesting. I had better check this out.
The time drags by on weighted wheels. I've become less productive. And it's not that I don't know it, it's just that I'm too tired to care. To write, even, is painful. Tomorrow. Tomorrow must be a better day, right?

--Reeths

The Striving | Day 4: But a Sliver of Time

The day has gone by quick. It is late at night right now. I am tired. I may be so tomorrow, too. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to my brother about the position. I don't want to take it. Well, I don't think I would do enough. Or have enough time for it.
They deserve better. Better than me, with no time. Who does not care about it the way a veteran would. I've been in a few months. What do I know about their beloved traditions? What do I care? I don't.
Or maybe I do.

--Reeths

The Striving | Day 3: When It Begins to Slow

Productivity has dropped. Or so I fear. The reading is creeping every slightly toward my goal. I hadn't known I was working today. Management, as always, was boring. Put me right to sleep. I'm tired from last night.
One of my biggest fears is that I'll never have time to do what I want, what I love, what I need. Not for long. Life, I am not from a circus. I don't know how to juggle. There's so much to do and so little time to do it. Yes, it's a cliche. But it's a true one.

--Reeths

The Striving | Day 2: A Snag

Day Two. It's the day that always catches up and bludgeons me from behind. And I'm not gonna say that it's not easy—that's a fact. But it ain't a surprise, either. This always happens. You get a good start, it's feeling good; day two rolls around and you're plummeting to your rocky death.

It's a familiar day, this day. A familiar place, this place. And a thousand times when came the day, I've failed. So yes, it's hard. It's harder than you can imagine. After all, the easiest thing to do is give up. Like I said, done a thousand times before.

Is there anything different about this time? No.

Except maybe me.

We all want to believe that we can change for the better. You want to believe it. I want to believe it. Never found a way to do that, though. Maybe tomorrow. They say tomorrow will be a better day.

--Reeths

The Striving | Day 1: A Small Start

Do you remember my resolutions? The ones I talked about before? Today was my first day of implementing them. My daily goals, at least. Maybe not the ones I've published.

Well, so far, I've done well, I think. To start off, I reorganized my closet and book space. It took a long time. After that, I prepared for work and left. When I returned, I ate supper, and finished 'If We Survive.' So I only have one book left to go before I've completed my 'Read two books a week' goal.

Management is just about as boring, if not more boring, than Marketing.

Finished reading:
'If We Survive' by Andrew Klavan

Currently reading:
'Night' by Elie Wiesel (I've hardly started this book, and it's already brimming with emotion.)
The Principles of Management (CLEP study guide)

And even though I haven't done a lot, it feels like I have. A small victory has been won today. Tomorrow, I hope to say the same.

--Reeths